Another very sad day

We placed Maggie in front of the TV (a spot she liked) and lifted the top of the cage off so that the other two could go and see her if they wanted to. Dad didn’t want to do that; he said the others wouldn’t care or know what was going on, but Mum and I pushed for it. By the end of the night, Dad had to eat his words.

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A nice spot in the warm.

Rosie has been to see Maggie a couple of times – once when I brought her out (but Dad was too loud and imposing on her so it was only a quick sniff), and once a bit later properly when Dad was in bed and I was in my bedroom. She seems OK, but she has been giving me lots of loves, and she often just sits and peers down the hall to where Maggie was.

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Worried.

D’arcy has reacted completely differently. It’s D’arcy we are a little concerned about. He has had a look and a good sniff of Maggie around five times. He’s been prowling around the house and has been quite unsettled. He goes into the hall and cries for her. He’s been bullying Rose and getting aggressive. Last night, he sat on my bed staring blankly at the blanket without moving for around 10 minutes. He slept with me last night, and this morning I picked him up and put him under the covers with me for a cuddle. Usually, he’d either leave right away or only stay for a minute or two, but he cuddled with me for a good hour or so before I had to get up and get moving. I looked up about feline depression and anxiety symptoms, and we’re going to give him lots of attention (as long as he’s not being naughty) like cuddles, brushes, and play time, and we’re going to let him out when he wants to go out.

We took Maggie to Pet Cremations this morning. Mum is a bit upset about it, which is understandable. The lady there was very nice and understanding. We chose a nice little casket for her with a gold plaque to go on the top. It’s similar to the ones we had for our old cats, and we went to the same place when we got the others done. We’ll be able to pick her up on Friday. No more cancer and no more cold.

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A very sad day…

Maggie May went to VSG this morning for her chemo, but unfortunately didn’t survive the anaesthetic.

Apparently it all happened very early on in the procedure, and very quickly; the vets didn’t even get a chance to take her blood to test or give her a proper physical examination. It was just too much for the poor little baby.

When we picked her up from VSG, she looked so peaceful and comfy. Because she died under the anaesthetic, she wouldn’t have been in any pain. Prior to going under, the vet said that she had been quite smoochie and cuddly with all the staff there, so they had given her a bit of a cuddle. I think Maggie knew.

The vet said that she’d had a look inside Maggie’s mouth, and the tumors had grown and locked her jaw semi-shut, which is why we were having so much trouble feeding her. She said that if Maggie had survived, we would have had major issues with that very soon.

On the way home with her, I kept looking in her cage, expecting her to move or snuffle, but deep down I knew that wasn’t going to happen. We’ve brought her home and left her in a place away from the other two cats until we get home from work where we will give them a chance to see her. She will be cremated tomorrow.

I’ve told Oliver, all of my close friends, and one of my aunts (the other one couldn’t care less, I’m sure), but with Priya being in South Africa she won’t have checked her phone yet. I feel really terrible that that may be the first thing she wakes up to on her phone. She loved Maggie dearly, although she was allergic.

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Maggie with Priya.

She was so good last night. She woke me up a few times, but she got really cuddly. She cuddled in nice and close. She spent most of the night cuddled up on my right upper arm, while my left arm cradled her. These are the last photos I have of her alive this morning. She was so comfy in bed. It was such a shame we had to disrupt her. Over the last few days she’s been yelly, discovered her love for the toilet and shower, given Dad and I loves, been quite good with her food (we changed the type of syringe we were using), has been outside on her own, demanded to go out on the deck with D’arcy, and has gotten really cuddly with me at night time. She’d had a really good night and a great last few days.

I thought I’d leave with some of my favourite photos of her. She was, and still is, our littlest bubbie girl.

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Toilet obsession

As may have been alluded to in previous posts, Maggie has developed somewhat of a toilet obsession. She follows or barges her way in whenever we go, and she goes in there to howl at night to wake us all up.

She came in with me tonight and purred her heart out. I picked her up so she could watch the toilet flush, which she really enjoyed. I brought her in to my room to cuddle on my bed. She stayed there for a while, then hopped off and went out the door. I thought she might have gone down to see Mum and Dad in the lounge, but Mum Facebook messaged me asking if Maggie was up with me. I said no, that she might have been in the dining room window. I went down to have a look around and she was nowhere to be found. I could hear a faint snuffling, so I knew she was somewhere.

I opened the toilet door, and what do you know…

In her favourite place.

She came out for a bit to give Dad (who was lying on the floor trying to coax her out) some loves. I put a blankie in there so she wouldn’t be cold on the floor in there.

She is now singing in the shower (her other favourite spot).

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Trip to VSG

Maggie went to VSG today for a check up. She was reasonably subdued on the way there and back. She actually went to sleep in the consulting room while the vet was going to fetch something for us.

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Sleepy wee baby… who falls asleep at the vet?!

The vet weighed her and she was 2.64kg. She always reads a little less at VSG, but that still isn’t the best regardless. Maggie’s temperature was good.

We fed her this morning, so the vet wasn’t keen to sedate her. She took Mags away to try and get some blood to check if she was still a good candidate for the chemo, but Maggie got too ‘wiggly’ so we have to go back tomorrow after she’s fasted overnight.

The vet was extremely surprised at how well she’s doing. None of us are under any illusion that she’s fine and going to rebound from this – she won’t – but she’s ‘a trooper’ nonetheless.

We brought up about the lesions on the side of Maggie’s face, and the vet said she thought that they would have caused her a little pain before they erupted, but now that they have, she doesn’t think they’re causing her any pain at all. Tomorrow, she will clean them and have a look while Maggie is sedated for her chemo.

We haven’t given Maggie her anti-nausea pills for a while as we haven’t been able to get them. The vet gave us a prescription so we could get them from a human pharmacy if we needed to, but luckily, our vet called to say that they had received the ones sent from VSG, so Dad will pick them up after work today.

I’ve been away in Warkworth, around 76km from where I live, at a wedding over the weekend. I was concerned that, while I was gone, Maggie might fret. She wasn’t too bad in that respect, but she’s apparently been really good in others. She has developed a fascination with the toilet. She loves to go in there and yell because the acoustics in there amplify her voice. If anyone goes to the toilet, she will follow us in there and give us loves around our legs while we’re doing our business. She also loves the toilet being flushed. Nothing’s sacred in our household.

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“HEY! GUYS! GUYS! I’M IN THE TOILET! HEY! I’M IN THE TOILET!”

She managed to wake Mum and Dad up at 5am on Saturday yelling in the toilet. They decided to stay up after that to watch the America’s Cup.

She’s also been going in my room and yelling, trying to look for me. She’s been very affectionate, and even made a trip outside on her own and got her feet all mucky in the mud.

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“I’m here! Give me cuddles plz!”

When I got home yesterday afternoon, I gave her big cuddles in bed (not complaining – I was KNACKERED). She loved that and actually got way closer to me than she has done in recent times, and cuddled right up. However… she did wake me up periodically through the night last night. Last night she wasn’t panicked – it was more like she was wanting attention (see below video and imagine that, but every 5 minutes during the night). She went down the end of my bed at one stage and started to yell. It reminded me of one of our old cats Sara Renee. She ended up quite senile, and she was deaf, so she used to go into the hall at 4am and yell, not knowing where anyone was. In talking to the vet today, we wondered whether Maggie was losing her hearing, and the vet said that was quite likely.

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Our old cat, Sara Renee, when she was a kitten.

This morning, she was still cuddled up with me. She seems a lot happier and more comfortable now, which is good. I’ll update after her appointment at VSG tomorrow.

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Cuddly girl with a dirty wee eye in the morning.

I mentioned before that D’arcy was under the weather. Apparently, he came in from outside on the weekend with his back feet folded under him. Mum and Dad were scared something had happened to his legs or spine, so they took him to the vet. It turned out that he was severely constipated. A bit of stool softener and a vet’s finger up his bum, and he’s a-OK now.

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A new eruption

Maggie still gets frantic when I fall asleep. I’ve noticed that, in addition to meowing in my face, pacing the bed, and climbing all over me, she also lightly but quickly taps my shoulder. It’d actually be really cute, if she wasn’t doing it because she was upset.

She’s had another small eruption on her face, just above the corner of her lip on the right side of her face. It bled a little bit this morning. I think this is just something we’re going to have to accept and manage. It doesn’t appear to cause her pain or distress.

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The new eruption just above the corner of her lip.

Last night, she swallowed another piece of tube. We’re no longer using the tubing on the syringe. We’re just sucking it up and trying to get the food in with the nozzle as it is.

She was OK this morning being fed, but she still gets quite feisty. We periodically give her a break, and she settles down by the window and looks forlorn. Whenever I feed her and Mum helps rather than Dad, I get her to hold Maggie afterwards so I can give her face a real thorough clean. I think I did a pretty good job this morning, and she almost went to sleep with me gently wiping the left side of her face with a warm face cloth.

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“Oh, woe is me…”

I’m always really proud when I’ve cleaned her face well, especially when she’s been calm about it (which is most of the time). Dad doesn’t really do it thoroughly enough for my liking; I’m not quite a germophobe, but I feel soooo much comfier when her face is super clean, including her eye and nose. It’s very satisfying for me, but it must also be more comfortable for her.

A clean little bubbie cuddling with Mummy
A clean little bubbie cuddling with Mummy

We’re going to try and get her in to both the normal vet, and VSG early next week. I have a list of things we need to bring up:

  • The new eruption on her face. We were told that treating it with the antiseptic ointment would do no good since it wouldn’t permeate past the surface, but I want to know if it would help to stop bugs getting in in the first place (rather than kill the tumour). Dad also wants to confirm that these lesions aren’t causing her much, if any, pain.
  • This new behaviour of panicking when I fall asleep at night. I don’t know what has caused it. If we have some possible reasons to it, we might be able to manage or fix it to limit her distress. Nothing bad has ever happened while I’ve been asleep at night.
  • An X-Ray or ultrasound to check where the two pieces of tube are. I don’t know, but this also may help to check how full her bowel is.
  • Her protruding anus. I want to make sure this is OK and not indicative of constipation or obstipation (which would be a medical emergency). She may need a stool softener, which I want to ask about.
  • I also want to see if there’s a topical pain relief we can be given to put on her lesions and nose. The nose in particular must get sore, as we’re forever fiddling with it and cleaning it. You know what it’s like when you have a persistently runny nose and have to blow your nose several times a day and the tissues start to feel like sandpaper.
  • We need to have her weighed and general condition assessed.

I can’t think of anything else right now that I’d like to find out, but if I do, I’ll write it down.

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Not too bad

I went home with Mum this afternoon to feed Maggie her lunch.

When we got home, she was behind the TV in the window, which has become reasonably normal for her. She wasn’t distressed, and it looked like she’d just had a drink because the fur around her mouth was wet (too much and the liquid was too thin to be drool).

We fed her and she didn’t take it well. She ate probably 1.5 syringes of food before becoming too stressed. I washed her face, eye and nose this time, and I washed them well. I brushed her face and forehead with the shedding brush, which she loves, and then set her down on Dad’s seat. She looked so content. Perhaps she only frets at night.

I had a look at Maggie’s bum (hard not to when she practically thrusts it in my face), and her anus is a bit protrusile, so I’m wondering whether her bowel is totally full and she hasn’t got the energy to defecate. She might need a stool softener. It’s not inflamed, red or prolapsed, just a bit sticky-outy. She doesn’t poo very often now, but she eats every day (albeit not on her own). That’s another thing I will bring up with the vet next week.

Poor D’arcy is a bit under the weather. He’s been vomiting a bit and had accidentally left some poos on the carpet. I caught him trying to either poo on the carpet, or drop a poo on the carpet that was stuck to his bum. Hopefully he recovers from that soon or we’ll have to take him to the vet too.

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Separation anxiety

After this morning, I’ve decided I think Maggie is suffering from a weird kind of separation anxiety.

She managed to get me to get up at 5:00AM this morning. I cleaned her nose and she seemed OK. I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I sat with the light on, on my phone reading the news.

I put my phone down just before 6:30AM and decided to shut my eyes until 7. As soon as I’d gotten to sleep, Maggie was frantically trying to wake me up again, meowing deeply, pacing, getting up in my face, and climbing all over my pillow and me.

Mum got up and told me that Maggie had done the same to her at 2AM. When Mum got up to go to the toilet, Maggie followed her. Even when I went to the kitchen this morning to check that Maggie’s feeding things were set up, Maggie followed me down there.

It’s almost as if Maggie was trying to resuscitate me. Does she suddenly, for some reason, think that when I’m asleep I’m actually dead? Her eye widens and she panics. She’s almost like Simba after Mufasa dies.

I’m not sure if it’s that, or if she’s feeling more crappy than usual and therefore more vulnerable and feels she needs me to be alert. The weather wasn’t great; it was windy and that may have unsettled her, though there was a day last week that was worse. D’arcy was so unsettled I left my TV audio on for him during the day, but Maggie wasn’t fazed so I don’t know why she would be now. Perhaps a tumour is placing pressure on the part(s) of her brain that control anxiety… I don’t know. We’ll make an appointment for her to see the vet early next week. I don’t think she’s in pain – I think it is anxiety – but it would be good to have someone validate or challenge that belief and also check her weight and general condition relative to last visit.

I’ve left the audio of my TV on for her today, and she has D’arcy keeping her company on the bed. Hopefully that’s enough.

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Big brother looking after Maggie.
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